I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
