Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
