Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
