She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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