Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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