Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we made out on top of his cat.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
