I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
