i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
