Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
