Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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