Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
