Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
