he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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