I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
