yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
