Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
True strength comes from lack of pants
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
