STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
