my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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