What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My life is pants optional.
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