entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
