just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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