i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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