Tell her she can't have a vagina
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
