1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
