I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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