I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
