I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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