he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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