So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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