This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
