i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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