shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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