Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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