the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
