i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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