He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
