R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
