Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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