sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
