At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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