the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
