I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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