she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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