Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
