Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
as a side note pls kill me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
