i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
