I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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