after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
