I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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