"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
