Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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