Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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