I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
