ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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