Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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