Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
