im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
