your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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