Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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