I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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