omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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