yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
