I'm so fucking centered right now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
