Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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