I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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